Why not use 'GoogleHurts'?

'Where does it hurt?' – 'Oh, I don't now, but let's have a look on the google!'
You know the google. Don't you think it's time to let the google know you?
Name, age, location – the google will tell you immediatly where it hurts, and: what to do. Especially for parents of young children not yet able to express their feelings other then by crying, GoogleHurts will simplify life a lot.